Cuts on the Bias

Real Models

The next segment of the work force to hit the unemployment line may be models. Not only are fashion magazines closing at a rapid clip, but some--like Germany's Brigitte -- are outlawing the use of models and instead relying on real women with "normal" bodies.

I approve. I love looking at thin, beautiful women as much as most 20 year old men, but I don't like using them to decide if I should buy a jacket, pants or pair of boots because it requires far too much imagination on my part. First I have to imagine what the outfit will look like on a body half as tall. Next I have to add about 40 lbs to the figure and almost as many years. Finally, I have to picture how it would look on someone who knows how to stand up straight and isn't making "sex with me now" eyes.

Unfortunately, I fear this will go too far and I'll soon see my octogenariun neighbor modeling recycled rain ponchos or one of the 300 lb-ers at my gym prancing around in her Hanes. Maybe we could agree to use only European real women.

Bump and Grimace

I am fortunate to have incredible grandmothers. One taught me to sew: a task that trains you to closely follow directions while looking for ways to innovate. The other taught me to find beauty where none seems to exist--a skill that can get you through a rough patch in a marriage, a career or a life. However, neither of them taught me to strip for which, after watching this video, I am truly thankful.

Call me ageist, culturally elite, rude, whatever term describes my disapproval, but I prefer my grandmas to be soft, cuddly and not wearing spandex. I love these dancers' youthful exoticism and don't question the glamor and appeal evident in their photos. It's just time to stop. Now.

Cougar Convo

The Society of Single Professionals is hosting the National Single Cougars Convention on Aug 28.

I'm not sure what I think of this. I love parties and believe there should be more of them. I also have no trouble with older women pairing up with younger men, as long as they're out of high school. I'm just not sure a convention is needed. I'm trying hard to imagine why cougars would come together. Doesn't that make the hunt a little harder?

Color my day

How do you spend your day, on average? The sleeping part is easy - 6-8 hours a night is the norm for all but the most driven. But what about the rest of your day? How much time do you spend eating? Cleaning house? Watching TV? 

The national averages for these activities are are beautifully captured in a Missoni-looking graphic called "How Different Groups Spend Their Day" recently published by the NY Times. In reading it, I found I watch far less TV than most but spend far more time on the computer. I don't know if "socializing" includes time on Facebook, Twitter and email. If it does, I'm in the mainstream. If it doesn't, I'm a more of loner.

Playing with the graph's interactive buttons lets you see how your future might evolve. According to its morphing color bands, when my youngest leaves home I'm going to work less and watch more TV. Hmm, disappointing. As I age, I'm going to do more household chores and more "leisure activities." The word "leisure" is suspicious. I associate it with polyester. One activity stays consistent unless I decide to become a man - shopping. Ok, as long as that's not just groceries I'm happy.

Economatrix

As a nation we seem to need someone to beat us up regularly. In recent decades we've found people to criticize us for being fat, lazy, uneducated, aggressive, sinful, staid, provincial, liberal, greedy and a host of other descriptions usually preceded by the word "too." I spent much of the 80's and 90's avoiding televangelists who could spit out all our collective failings while crying and raising enormous piles of money. The dotcom era introduced us to people who were way smarter than the rest of us and way richer. Then, with Bush in office, we met people who were way dumber than the rest of us and damn proud of it.

I was beginning to think we'd entered a new era of self-confidence and positive influence, but now I'm starting to doubt that. We seem to have found a new dominatrix to flail us into submission: the economist.

Whether he's toting a Nobel prize or a popular blog, economists have become our newest critics endlessly pointing out that we spend too much, save too little, buy too little and hoard too much. Confusing? Contradictory? Doesn't matter. The point is we're still bad, worthless beings who need to reform.

If we must continue to beat ourselves up, couldn't we at least do it for something enjoyable like fashion or wine?

Fly Me

An article in The Economist today caught my eye: a brief write up summarizing the latest developments in flying cars explaining why I won't be able to buy one any time soon. The usual challenges were cited--regulation unprepared to handle the traffic, operation too complex for normal folks, technology not quite ready. All of these excuses could have been offered to prevent the development and distribution of computers, but they weren't. Perhaps the inventors of flying cars could learn something from Gates and Jobs.

I've been obsessed with flying cars since I was 9 years old and my friend Stephen, the nerdiest kid in class, promised to build one for me. It was a simple design involving a large fan and a lever or two. We remained grounded, but I think he had the right idea. Instead of crafting a car that flew, Stephen was just trying to get me airborne.

If an inventor took a clue from Gates and Jobs, they would make a personal flying machine. It would be smaller and much less powerful than a plane or car. It would be easier to operate. It would be pretty. And it would only need to get its single passenger about a foot off the ground, moving about the speed of a bike. I would buy two.

Waiting Gamely

I'm sitting near the boarding gate at SFO waiting for a flight I hope will depart on time. Normally, I'm not good at waiting, but in airports it's enjoyable. No, I'm not medicated. I love waiting in airports because it's the best way I know for gauging the pulse of the population. At least when it comes to consumer sentiment, I trust what I see and hear in airports far more than what I read online or view on TV.  Here's the scene this morning:

• Desperate patches of pink--we are not a stylish bunch out here, but half a dozen women (mostly mid-age) are wearing varying shades of bright pink, aqua and lavender. Their clothing looks new so I'm guessing these are purchases intended to cheer them or their spouses in the midst of a dulling recession. The elderly male wearing a deep purple fedora is either a very free spirit or a retired pimp.
• Resignation nation--the only way to describe most of the faces around me is "resigned." I don't sense anger or frustration. No ones seems particularly excited to be traveling and no one is socializing. This airport is typically abuzz in the morning but today it could be mistaken for a library.
• Attached--with very few exceptions, all around me are attached to some form of technology including iPod, iPhone, Blackberry or laptop. That's not unusual here, but what is unusual is their body language. It's more relaxed and casual--not the hunched, frentic, "I'm mastering my universe" stance more common to the techno-attached. If I could read minds, I bet I'd hear "shit...no way I'm making that goal," or "maybe I could make a living organizing closets..."

Cable Correction

I needed a day to stop laughing after reading Kelley's last post. I love men, but their powers of observation are limited to sports, food, cars and sex. I don't mind; in fact, I often count on it. But I also believe it's the main reason we have such high levels of ugliness in the technology accessories world.

So here's my plea: would one of you out-of-work entrepreneurial types please redesign computer and electronics accessories to match normal household decor? Start with the cables. I'm not excited by the option to buy cables in dead fish white, 1950's beige or utility uniform blue. LaCie is headed in the right direction with its novel neon colors, but I want my cables to blend in, not scream "look at me!" What about a nice slate tweed print or a soft brown that matches hardwood floors? After you're done with cables, tackle surge protectors.

Once you've created these, please don't assume I'll know where to find them. Make them show up in the first five listings when I search for "attractive cables". Finally, give them better names. I know computer guys like numbers and acronyms, but replace MZQ34pra7 with something slightly more memorable. Do this right and I bet you don't have to look for a new job.

Be Happy

For those of you with a voyeuristic streak (a trait near and dear to my heart), here's a fascinating article in the Atlantic on the Grant Study, a longitudinal survey that tracked a group of Harvard students starting in 1937 and continuing until they were in their 70's and 80's. The study itself produced volumes of findings, but the article concentrates on what the data says about happiness. The author conveniently sums the most essential findings in one clearly written and informative sentence:

The healthiest, or “mature,” adaptations include altruism, humor, anticipation (looking ahead and planning for future discomfort), suppression (a conscious decision to postpone attention to an impulse or conflict, to be addressed in good time), and sublimation (finding outlets for feelings, like putting aggression into sport, or lust into courtship).

I've read plenty of articles suggesting that giving to others and laughing are keys to long, healthy lives. But planning for pain, controlling your impulses, and taking your anger out on a ball? Those are more often categorized as coping mechanisms, not virtues. The study also emphasizes the profound importance of relationships. The men who had good connections with their siblings lived longer, happier lives than those who didn't. Being one of seven, I believe this, but mainly because siblings identify your vulnerabilities early enough for you to do something about them.

My only disappoint with this study is that it's so narrow. It looks exclusively at men and all those men had the money, brains and ambition to attend Harvard. How applicable their behavior is to the broader population, and in particular to women, I can't say. But I will try to laugh more today and I'll get through my Step class with a greater sense of purpose.

Waiting Game

In an earlier post, I suggested that entrepreneurs need to have a high tolerance for errors. Another trait they need is patience.

I've seen dozens of companies pull the plug on products--declaring them a failure--only to have the same idea surface a year later and be a roaring success. I worked with a company in the 90's that created an online site very similar in concept to FaceBook. After 6 months, they decided it wasn't growing fast enough and scraped it. Ditto a company in 2002 that had a concept similar to Twitter. They gave it about 9 months to succeed, then killed it.

Maybe these ideas were born too soon. Maybe they wouldn't have taken off for years. But when they did, they would have made their founders bail-out size fortunes. Moral of the story: launch, nurture continuously and wait.

Fat to Fit

Spring clothes can only mean one thing: summer is not far off. And with summer comes shorts, tank tops and swim suits which means I have to get serious once again about diet and exercise. I hibernate through winter--slowing down my workouts and adding a few pounds in case the world ends and I need to live off my fat. When summer returns, my winter body needs work.

I thought I'd read every word written on diet and exercise, but Zen Habits found a few new ones.  A recent post on how to go from fat to fit offered several novel motivational tricks for staying on track. For example, "write down the jean size you are going for."  Simple, to the point, can substitute "dress" or "bikini" for "jean." Another suggestion is "find your favorite exercise and own it." It's worth a shot.

Perfect Mistakes

Every week I get email from friends and strangers asking advice about starting a business. I'm happy to help (gratis) because I think everyone should try being an entrepreneur at least once--that is, unless you are a perfectionist.

Why no perfectionists? Because it's impossible to start any type of business without making numerous mistakes, no matter how experienced you are. Kelley's post on how she misjudged Smocks buyers' desire for conservative prints is a good example. I'll add that I forgot to link our PayPal account with our bank account, made a mess of our first Quickbooks balance sheet and provided the wrong bank account number to our merchant services. That's just the errors I made in the accounting part of the business in the first two weeks.

If you start your own business, assume you will screw up. Not once or twice, but repeatedly. If these mistakes upset you and hold you back, I think you may be happier in a supporting role (possibly in accounting). If instead you see each mistake as an opportunity to course correct or fine-tune your original idea, you've got the first necessary ingredient for successful entrepreneurism. The second is patience and I'll deal with that tomorrow.

Easter Redo

Today is Easter Sunday. I failed to notice that until this morning. Perhaps I'm too disconnected from the world around me, but I doubt that. I think the problem is with this particular holiday. It needs to be redesigned.

Easter has several design flaws. First, it has no permanent date like Christmas or New Years. That makes it hard to schedule in advance. Second, its meaning is fragmented. Is it a Christian holiday celebrating Christ's rise from the dead? Is it a children's holiday celebrating chocolate and marshmallow treats? Is it a nature holiday celebrating Spring, rebirth and chirping chicks? Or is is a fashion holiday celebrating the return to sundresses and sandals? Third, Easter has weak icons. Its most prominent visuals are an egg, a rabbit and a cross. Hard to get too excited about that.

If I were hired to redesign Easter, I'd anchor it to April 16. That date would help balance the depression of April 15, tax day. I would define its purpose as a communal celebration of Spring to be celebrated in religious and non-religious ways as long as you wore a new outfit that didn''t include a sweater or boots. Finally, I'd makes its icon a small green leaf, as in "turning over a new" one or nature's symbol of rebirth. Think of the opportunities for jewelry design and serving platters.

Unfortunately, I'm not in charge of reinvigorating Easter and I don't know who is, so it will probably muddle on until it finally reaches the status of Groundhog day and none of us care anymore. Sad, but life evolves and survival of the fittest applies to holidays too.

Consuming Passions

Since today is Sunday, the supposed day of rest, I'm going to repost something I first blogged in July 2003. It's surprisingly apt, particularly for those wondering whether to save or spend or something in the middle.

I took a much needed break this week. Hopped in a rental car in LA and drove up Route 1 along the California coast as slowly as I possibly could. I kept most business thoughts out of my head, but one kept popping up, prompted mainly by my surroundings and a conference I'd recently attended. That thought was how pervasive consumerism is. Every where I went, people were buying and selling things. Not just yuppie corporate types who are typically accused of trying to brand the world, but everyone. In Santa Barbara, the descendants of Chumash Indians were selling beaded artifacts. In Cambria, Hippie artisans hawked colored glass. In Big Sur, New Age shamans were selling mediation aids. In Carmel, pet-loving senior citizens were selling needlepoint signs. I returned home to the Bay Area in time to attend an event at Stanford where professors were selling music and fireworks.

As context, I personally am a conservative shopper. I'm an environmentalist who practices what I preach, so I didn't return from my trip with bags of new stuff. However, I, like most of the human race, enjoy "consuming." I don't think of it as evil and I doubt that it's the downfall of the world. I find it a fascinating transaction between individuals--one based on shared value derived from different starting points. For example, I bought a pair of earrings on my trip. For these items (that I will probably wear for a few years), I parted with $40. The artisan who made the earrings parted with a little silver, a little glass and probably 2-3 hours. We traded through the intermediary of a store and chances are we all are very satisfied with the result.

My point is that consumerism has a value as well as a cost, and that value is extended to a very wide network of people--not just corporate types. While I applaud the study of the effects of consumerism on a global scale, and I understand the well-based environmental concerns, I think the debate needs to include both sides of this equation. "Consuming" does not automatically equal environmental degradation, just as not consuming won't automatically improve the world. If we were all to reduce our consumption, the world would not necessarily be a better place. For starters, there would be a lot of people out of work along the California coast.

Expertly Wrong

I ranted a few days ago about Fox News and other political pundits who mislead or deceive their viewers intentionally. I'm still angry at them, but thanks to Nicholas Kristof's column today I've learned of another form of misleading by pundits that is more understandable.

It turns out that most experts make wrong predictions nearly half the time. That's right--experts predicting future outcomes in their own area of expertise get it right only slightly more than random picks on a dartboard would. How embarrassing.

Kristof offers a brief explanation of why this happens and credits Philip Tetlock for the academic proof. Another more accessible explanation can be found at Jonah Lehrer's blog. But in case you're in a hurry today and can't spend any more time learning how things work, the short answer is most experts believe themselves too much. As they become more expert (and especially as they become more famous), they stop considering other points of view and focus too much on their own perspective. This makes them miss important new developments or nuances and dooms their predictions. Oh, and by the way, this doesn't just apply to political or financial experts. It can also apply to fashion experts. Maybe we won't have to return to broad padded shoulders and lots of dots.

PS. This doesn't mean we should stop listening to experts. That would be dangerous. Instead, be an editor like Kelley--read and listen to many different experts expressing different points of view. Then decide which combination of views seems most plausible.

Rainy Day Projects

If you're stuck inside because of the snow or rain or wind, here's two projects to occupy your mind and body:

1) spend 18 minutes listening to Willie Smits explain how he and his community re-grew a rain forest on Borneo. He has a calming voice, a nice accent and subtle approach. He will lull you into thinking you're hearing a "feel good" TED talk, then he'll smack you in the head with his real message....which is "if you don't like the way things are going, change them." No excuses, no "I'm just one person" bullshit. 

2) Which leads me to project #2, ignore the weather and figure out what else you don't like about your life or the world you live in and start changing it. No excuses, no "I'm just one person" bullshit.

Fashion Challenge

I can dress myself under most normal conditions. I know what to wear to a business meeting, a cocktail party or a backyard BBQ. Most of my clothing falls in the "mix and match" category which means I can improvise around the general themes of professional, formal and casual wear. What I'm less capable of handling is odd, undefined situations like cold weather at the beach.

Do I don a sweater with my shorts? Socks with my flip flops? A swimsuit cover up and a rain hat seems not quite right, however it is exactly what I needed this morning. I know Kelley is cringing right now at the thought of me trying to navigate this tricky fashion space because my love of functionality does often trump my love of fashion. She'll no doubt point me to something fabulous that will solve my dilemma. Or, she'll tell me to stay inside. 

Armed and ready

Yes, of course I noticed Michelle Obama's arms. Made me pull out my summer stock of tanning cream to try and recreate her shapely limbs with some shading and highlighting (didn't work). And made me get off my butt and head to exercise class today (better odds, but requires repeat applications).

She's a remarkably unique first lady. Not because she's the first to wear a sleeveless dress in February in DC, but because she doesn't hide her strength and confidence behind a dull boxy suit or a manufactured smile. I believe Hilary could have done this, but the country was not ready. Now that we're all starved for signs of true competence, I think Michele's stance is welcomed and I'm betting she will have far-reaching influence.

One place we could see her influence is on the runway and in the catalogs. How can retailers like J Crew continue to pose their models like shameful waifs when their most important customer and leading role model is a buff Amazonian?

Civility

Like Kelley , I too enjoyed the refined style on display at the Oscars last night. I also sensed a subtle, but powerful change in the demeanor. Amongst the gowns, tuxes, spotlights and reporters, I saw hints of a new civility. Even Sean Penn was contrite. Maybe it's the economy, maybe it's Obama's influence, maybe we're all more grown-up than we were last year; whatever the cause, there's a definite shift away from irreverence and acting-out and toward respect and graciousness.

I'm not suggesting everyone has transformed, just that the influential pull is trending in this direction. I've seen it at conferences where you now find fewer people who talk to you while scanning the room to see if a more important person is in proximity. I've experienced it at parties where honesty seems suddenly in vogue. I've found it in the post office, the grocery store and in airplanes where offers of help or simple friendliness are easier to come by.

Perhaps this is cyclical. The antics and arrogance that characterized the bad boys of finance and rubbed off on too many others surely haven't been banished for all time. But I'm welcoming this break from it and I'm hoping it stays around for awhile. 

Next Page

uhg. I honestly loved reading Page Six Magazine, even though I had to go out of my way to get copies of it (the Sunday NY Post is not easily found on the West Coast). I didn't care much for the celebrity profiles, but I know they sell issues so had no beef with them. Clearly I'm biased, but the fashion pages delighted me. I loved seeing neighborhood styles and learning how to make my summer clothes last beyond August. I trusted the advice (which is far more than I can say of most other fashion mags). Maybe they are being truthful and will continue as a quarterly. That might not be a bad course for others to follow as well--I mean, how often do you need to relearn the 437 Things Men Want in Bed?

Fortunately for all the talented editors at Page Six, the world loves stylish minds. You have a thousand new options in your life, starting with blogs, twitters, websites and podcasts. No, the web doesn't pay well yet for most, but it can if you commit to making it work for you.

Singing for your SUP

SUP is short for "stand up paddle." It's what good surfers do for fun when the waves are too small for them, and it's what other people do when the waves are small enough not to kill them. I'm in the latter category.

I first tried SUP surfing last year in Honolulu and I was hooked in the first 5 minutes. The sport is alot like dancing; if you worry about what you're doing, you look stiff and awkward. Style, in this case, comes from feeling, not thinking.

At first, I had a tough time figuring out how to balance a narrow slab of fiberglass on an ocean filled with waves without my brain shrieking "red alert: death imminent!" but then I discovered the secret brain "off" button. Want to stop thinking? All you have to do is sing.

That's harder than it sounds. In order to sing with your brain turned off, the lyrics and melody have to be effortlessly recalled. In my case, that left me singing "Blue Danube" (thanks to 4th grade flutaphone practice) and "Home on the Range" for over an hour. Finally, my bored brain cells spurted briefly into action and reminded me of dozens of more entertaining songs firmly ingrained in my grey matter. Thank you once again, John, Paul, George and Ringo.

White Water

It takes courage to don a swim suit in January. Not because of the cold; give it time and your body adjusts.The bravery is required to look at your ghost white, winter-toned body and say "what the Hell" My grandmother claims we had a black ancestor in our distant past; unfortunately, it was either too distant or he was not black enough because I have no pigment darker than potato soup.

Open water attracts me like no other substance, so paleness be damned I jumped headlong into the ocean today. A half mile swim, mingled with effortless bobbing, turned me even paler. Fortunately, the fish don't seem to care and since the state prohibits fishing along this stretch of shore in odd-numbered years, there's more of them than people.

Armed and Ready

I'm looking forward to Kelley's makeover piece which I'm sure she'll post later today. Makeovers, by their nature, intrigue me. I like the concept of finding value where it's currently hidden, of bringing forth a better side and downplaying a weaker side. In a way, this is the antidote to perfectionism, a disease that runs rampant in our culture although you rarely hear it discussed. With a makeover--of any sort--you aren't magically erasing flaws. A fat woman doesn't become thin. An old house doesn't become new. A food business doesn't become an electronics business. In each case, the imperfections are accepted as real, then lessened by an emphasis on those features that are valued.

One of my many imperfections is that I often don't take my own advice. While I should accept my current body with love and appreciation--or disguise its flaws with color and texture--I am once again convinced I can change it. In this case, I'm lusting after Jill Biden's arms. Seriously, she's 57. Check out the definition. She's a teacher and busy spouse: how many hours could she spend at the gym? All I need to do is completely change my lifestyle, diet, level of commitment, travel plans, endurance and genetics. No problem.

I'm a sucker for a makeover

The Mike & Juliet show has asked me back, the segment is a makeover for Mom that dresses too young and too sexy, how could I say no? I met the woman today at the fitting and she is so nice (and brave) and really eager to stop shopping at Abercrombie and Forever 21. I love doing make-overs for real people (vs. celebrities) because they are so appreciative of any information or tips you can give them, and they really feel like a whole new person after, quite satisfying.  Tune in tomorrow at 9:20am to see the transformation.

Frisky Business

Need a way to pass the time in sub-zero weather (or for you West Coast folks, maybe you need some time in the shade)?  Here's a post I did for The Frisky on how to organize your closet. Once you get that straightened out, check out their clip of SNL's Unaired Ann Coulter interview. Very funny. Very true.